Observe Archives - Page 59 of 69

Winning Is Everything

Posted on December 5, 2020

Winning is often seen as the ultimate goal. To win something can show competence or dominance. When winning is everything, you can go a little mad.

It is amazing how we, as people, can get caught up in winning. There is a lot wrapped up in its significance. Victory is particularly important when your life is on the line. In days gone buy, triumph in a duel, or a shootout at high noon, often meant the difference between life and death.

If you have to fight til the death, there is so much more on the line. Think of military battles where people were killed on the field of battle or became a prisoner and suffered torturous conditions until they succumbed. Or consider losing in court, in the thousands of years before now, when death was often the prescribed result. The stories of Socrates, Louis XVI, Marie Antoinette and Anne Boleyn come to mind.

Fewer contests or situations exist today where winning is so important and losing could be fatal. However, sometimes, some people act as if victory is the only acceptable result. And because of that, they put winning ahead of fair play, sportsmanship and the rules. Cyclist Lance Armstrong and sprinter Ben Johnson come to mind.

Have you ever wanted to win, or support the winner, so desperately that you would even accept a little cheating? Think back to taking a test, playing or watching sports, an election or referendum.

Sometimes you go mad and winning is everything.

Observe Reframe your thoughts

I Am Unique

Posted on December 4, 2020

There are about 7,800,000,000 people on planet Earth at this time. So many people and yet I am unique. I have differences to others. Although I have similarities to other people, when you consider all of my physical characteristics and my vast realm of thoughts, on the whole, I am unique.

You are unique too. It seems everyone has a different DNA, even if ever so slightly. People have a different set of fingerprints too. There are also all the different experiences we have had and the different thoughts, interpretations and perspectives that brings.

At the top of the pyramid we are all the exact same. We are all humans. So none of us are different from the top level perspective. We are all absolutely the same in that regard. Now sometimes people use their senses to play spot the difference. So a dividing of the humans begins.

Many groups are formed, theoretically, by age, sex, height, eye colour, hair colour, skin colour, religion, education, birth place, geography, political views, wealth, career, and relationships. This only covers a tiny portion of the ways we can split ourselves into unique groups and divide ourselves.

If you continue to split yourself into sub groups, however, you will conclude that you are absolutely unique. There is no group of people who are exactly like you in it.

So say it with me. I am unique.

Gratitude Health & Fitness Observe Reframe your thoughts Time

Early Morning Benefits

Posted on December 3, 2020

It’s a brilliant time to be awake. Sometimes I forget how nice it is to start a day so peacefully. Early morning benefits include hearing the birds sing and the calmness of the house.

I was up earlier than usual this morning. Something to do with a very large cardboard box, the top bunk and gravity. Let’s just say having an unexpected conversation with my daughter a little after 4 am has brought about a lovely, though unintended, consequence today.

With a dark and calm house, my senses were heightened. Not only could I hear the lovely singing from the birds, but I noticed our kitchen clock ticking away with every second. I also noticed some headphones were not shut off as they made a sound every so often. Not often enough to track them down, but just enough to remind me I still hadn’t found them.

I’m enjoying this calm before the storm. I’ve been able to read, write and consider some things without one interruption. No need to do something, prepare anything, respond to someone or go somewhere. It is great to have this time to wake up and start the day at a pace often reserved for the fourth day of a holiday.

By 06:50, I have written my blog and the kids are heading down to the kitchen for breakfast.

Enjoy your early morning benefits.

Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

It’s So Easy

Posted on December 1, 2020

Isn’t that fun to say that? I love it when I can use these three little words. It does not even matter why. It’s simply great when it’s so easy.

I find tying my shoelaces fall into this category. Walking is another one. Lying on a beach, under a parasol in very warm weather could also be classified this way. There really are a lot of things I currently find easy. And I appreciate them all.

It is not easy for everyone and it probably won’t always be easy for me. So I am enjoying these things and being grateful for their easiness every day.

Now some people might find things easy which I don’t. For example, a concert pianist may find that playing a simple piece is quite easy. I, on the other hand, might struggle a bit with it, at least in the beginning.

Think about all the things you find easy. Make a mental list, or a physical list if you are brave enough. It can help to lift your spirits when you realise all the things that are not difficult for you. Think of the simple and the complex. It could range from breathing, typing, eating and sleeping to juggling, driving, buying a house or flying a jet.

If it’s so easy, enjoy it while you can.

Observe Reframe your thoughts Time

How Well Do You Really Know Someone?

Posted on November 30, 2020

It’s interesting to think about how much you actually know about other people. How well do you really know someone? What constitutes knowledge?

Being involved in a birthday call the other day brought this back to the forefront of my mind. I had been thinking about this a lot recently. On the Zoom call, we got to learn about details of the other people. That can be really interesting.

Often we can be familiar with someone but not really know much about them. You may know what they think about current affairs or favourite holiday destinations. However, do you know where they were born, who taught them how to ride a bike and what their favourite courses were in school and why?

Time is short so we are often discussing other people’s opinions about the news of the day. However, we do not go deep on the person and their life. This can be quite interesting though. Is it better to understand how someone would vote or how they spent their teen years?

Are you aware of all the details of the lives of your friends and family? Perhaps it would be better to find out more while they are alive. Maybe it would be better to talk about their life rather than the news, next time you see them.

How well do you really know someone?

Action Observe Think About It

Get Out Of The Way!

Posted on November 29, 2020

The only thing stopping you from achieving what you want right now is you. That is it. You need to address the obstacle in your mind and get out of the way!

It’s easy to think that someone or something else is responsible for our lack of expected progress. We had ideas and dreams. There was a general path that people had followed before us.

Like most Hollywood movies, things are supposed to get back to, and certainly end, better than they started. Sure there would be little bumps in the road but they are handled reasonably well by our able script writers, the actors and the director.

Real life is a wee bit different. Especially the bit about timing. We have no idea where we are in the equivalent of a two hour movie. Are we near the end or the middle?

Regardless, you have some challenges in your mind that need a little bit of your attention. If you are procrastinating, understand why. If you’re struggling to move forward, look into your thoughts. Be honest with yourself. Write these thoughts somewhere safe. Dwell on them until you have some good, hard answers as to why you are not travelling in the direction, or style, you thought you would be.

Then you you need to make some adjustment and move from being uncomfortable to unstoppable.

Build good habits and get out of the way!

Observe Think About It Time

Now More Than Ever

Posted on November 28, 2020

There are a number of overused phrases and cases of hyperbole in the world at the moment. Perhaps it is occurring now more than ever. ?

This phrase came up while I was reading an article the other day. It noted that, now, more than any other time in history, all people needed to be ‘civically engaged and fight for what’s right’.

I find this to be a throw-away phrase. I doubt the person has thought about what that means. It then makes me wonder whether their other comments will be similar. That ‘add familiar phrase here’ type of writing can be quicker or easier to write. But it may not have as much thoughtful depth as it could have.

I try to consider various reader perspectives when I write – it’s my six chairs test, (in my 24 April 2020 post). Sometimes that means it takes longer to complete the article. However, hopefully it leads to a more accurate delivery of the key thoughts I am having.

I am pretty sure the author meant that she felt it was quite important for people to engage now. I would be surprised if she thought that people had to fight more now for what is right, during this time of relative peace, prosperity, greater equality and improved understanding. Or did she mean we needed to fight more so now than during WW I or II, the US Civil War, the Cold War, or the civil rights movement?

Now more than ever?

Gratitude Observe

How Helping Can Hinder

Posted on November 24, 2020

I used to think helping people was a good thing. But as I have said before, generalising is not good. I realised how helping can hinder once you get into the details.

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”
Unknown

Help in the short term may involve giving some money, food, clothing or shelter. But this is not a good longer term set up. It is a good intention, but we know where those can lead. The person can become dependent on you. You certainly don’t need another dependent. And it is not good for their self image, confidence or pride to be dependent on someone or something else.

Immediate help per above is fine for an emergency. However, it is best for both of you to help the person to become independent again as swiftly as possible. In the longer term, people do better and are happier if they can provide for themselves.

In addition, you do not want to become the person that needs to pay for some or everything over a period of months or years. This is true even if you can afford it.

It may require a little tough love to get people back on their feet. That is ok, as most people can handle it. They may not like it so much in the moment, but in the longer term they will be more grateful.

This is especially true if they realise how helping can hinder.

Action Observe Reframe your thoughts

Superstitions

Posted on November 22, 2020

Last week it was Friday the 13th. In 2020, for that matter. Did you approach that day any differently than others? What are superstitions and why are they so super?

A definition from Wikipedia is, “a belief or practice resulting from ignorance, fear of the unknown, trust in magic or chance, or a false conception of causation”. In addition, it says, “an irrational abject attitude of mind toward the supernatural, nature, or God resulting from superstition.”

That doesn’t sound so super. It actually seems a little dismissive and belittling. This is interesting because so many people believe in certain superstitions, even if it is just a little bit. These ideas usually involve luck or prophecy. Generally they mean doing something for another thing to happen.

Actions you might do to try to impact a particular outcome are: cross your fingers, toes or legs, pray, or arrange your house according to Feng Shui. Some people will also carry a lucky charm, wish upon a star or not shave for days. Another popular idea is to have a lucky number, shirt or hat.

It can be easy to laugh at people with superstitions. Yet, we often overlook our own little desire to influence the universe, in our favour, when we seek higher force intervention.

Just because you don’t understand something, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist or isn’t relevant. Without a little irrational thinking we might not have electricity, mobile phones or heart surgery.

Perhaps superstitions are super in some way.

Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

Start With ‘That’s Wonderful!’

Posted on November 21, 2020

When a person does something well, try not to top them or criticise. Start with, ‘That’s Wonderful!’. Then maybe ask them how it felt and what was their favourite part.

It is not always easy to be gracious, especially after a loss. But to see good examples of how it is done, we can look to the sporting world. It is very common now to see interviews after a match. Usually someone from the losing side will be asked how it went.

They acknowledge how the they did and that they need to work on some things. They often cite the other side and note how well some individuals played or their whole team in general. It is very sportsmanlike to make these comments. Gracious in defeat.

The winning team also makes comments and they are usually restrained and fairly objective. They too usually reference the other side. Most of the time these comments are appropriate and supportive in their defeat. Many times they note how well the others played and some particularly good aspects of their game.

More people should take note of these post game interviews. Especially politicians. Politicians need to remember we are not enemies. And not really opponents. Both sides want the best. They want peace and prosperity. Health and education.

More of them should start with, ‘That’s wonderful!’, when they do well, rather than find something to criticise.