CategoriesObserveReframe your thoughts

Normalisation Has Pros And Cons

Normal and normalising sound like good words to me. However, they have a darker side that receives less attention. Normalisation has pros and cons and you are better prepared if you know some of them.

Normal sounds regular, acceptable, average and uncontroversial. It has a nice sound to it. For example, ‘She seems fairly normal’, or, ‘We need to normalise relations with them’ have a positive tone to them.

Although it does depend on what you deem acceptable for normal and what you are comfortable with. Is smoking normal? If you ask a group of smokers, the answer is more likely to be yes. For fresh air advocates, rolling up dried leaves, setting it on fire and inhaling it may not seem normal.

So perhaps we note that you hold the belief that smoking is not normal or desirable. However, you might meet someone interesting and later on find out they smoke. Gradually, through numerous interactions with the person, you may start to normalise smoking. Your graduated exposure to smoking and the brand enhancement it receives being associated to a likeable person makes it less unpalatable.

If five more friendly smokers join your new group, you may find yourself moving from neutral to engaged and begin smoking.

Normalisation has pros and cons.

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CategoriesObserveThink About It

Life Isn’t Fair

We all want life to be fair. We want a fair match when we watch sports, a fair hearing in court and a fair interview in our career. However, life isn’t fair. Or at least, most people can’t see how it is fair in some circumstances.

I have found that remembering that life isn’t fair is very helpful during challenging times. It comes back to the expectation versus reality gap. If you expect life to be fair, every time you don’t think it is, you will be frustrated.

My children hear this phrase frequently too. I remind them that life doesn’t always look fair in the present, the short run or the long run. However, it may be fair eventually, particularly if you believe in karma. Or it may never be fair, especially if you don’t believe there is an entity watching and keeping score.

Though I do suggest to them that they can try to make life fairer by their own thoughts and actions. If someone is having a bad day, they can try to make it better with a kind word or a small token. They can also play by the rules of the game and ensure the people on their team do too.

Life can be tough and life isn’t fair. But we have a responsibility to try to ensure it is as fair as possible.

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CategoriesObserveReframe your thoughts

You Find What You Are Looking For

You can find good in a person. And you can find bad. Just like a coin, there are two sides. However, you find what you are looking for so step back and assess your search criteria.

If you only want to focus on one side of a coin, that is all you will ever see. You will not understand what the observers of the other side of the coin are referring to, if you never go and have a good look.

Now you may prefer the head of the coin for a number of reasons. Or you may prefer the tail. But just because you focus on one side only, doesn’t mean the other side doesn’t exist. And people may find value and joy in looking at the side which isn’t your preference. That doesn’t make looking at, or liking, the other side wrong. It just makes it different from your perspective.

It is simply diversity of thought. However, sometimes people want diversity as long as it is the same as their ideas. Being a true advocate of diversity often entails understanding ideas that you may not like or agree with. It depends if you are looking to understand someone’s preferences or looking for reasons why their point of view is inferior. Different doesn’t have to mean worse.

You find what you are looking for.

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CategoriesGratitudeObserveProgressThink About It

The Big Stuff Is Behind Us

It’s easy to find something to complain about. There are even times that certain people will go as far as outrage. The big stuff is behind us though. Not that the world can’t be an even better place with a little more tinkering. However, we need some balance to ensure the tinkering doesn’t go too far.

What I mean is this. There is a lot more acceptance between people on the big things. In most of the 37 OECD countries there are few, if any, major rights not available to all people. All races and genders are able to freely vote. People have the right to liberty and freedom of expression and religion.

There is an abundance of opportunity for all people. The majority of people in these countries seem to be fine with where things are at. Yes, there will always be small groups or individuals that feel that the laws and norms don’t quite work for them. The good news is that those people can work towards having things improved for them.

Now, we can still tip into an abyss. However, it is ever less likely to happen. As people continue to get comfortable with improving standards of living, fewer will want to wage wars, riot or remove socially agreed basic human rights.

The big stuff is behind us.

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CategoriesObserveThink About It

What An Election!

Very tense moments. Emotional roller coaster. So many plot twists and great uncertainty. Who will play the leads in the movie? What an election!

I wrote this early on, before the in person, on-the-day voting started. So I have no idea while writing this, how things turn out. I just foresee it being an exciting night of tension, emotion and high drama. Entertaining!

Did it landslide to the left? Or did it landslide to the right? Are they down to one last voting district that will decide the whole thing? Maybe they are recounting. Oddly, despite lots of pre-election time to vote in person or by mail, some states have allowed people to go past the voting deadline of 3rd November. That seems to be asking for a bit of unnecessary confusion and court involvement.

Neither candidate will want to concede right away if it is super close in some key states. You wouldn’t either after all your effort, money and campaigning.

So unless it is a landslide in the electoral college with no close calls that would change anything, we could have a few weeks of legal battles to get through.

I believe both men will accept the result if it looks fair and convincing or if the Supreme Court needs to rule on it.

Hopefully that won’t be necessary.

What an election!

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CategoriesGratitudeHealth & FitnessObserveReframe your thoughts

Learning To Chill

People can get very wound up and full of angst. It’s not good for them. There are so many reasons for it too. Learning to chill should be a full term course when you are 12 years old with some sort of reminder course at 16, 20 and every five years thereafter.

I can understand the angst and tension for liberal-leaning citizens. For example, in the UK, the Conservatives swept to power, Brexit will be done in two months, Trump won in 2016 and may win a second term and climate change issues are not getting much better. I’m not sure if there is much bothering the right-leaning citizens.

I suppose they both share a dislike of Covid as well.

One of my favourite techniques for relaxing is to sit quietly for a few minutes and remind myself how tough other generations have had it. Remember those that lived through WWI, the 1918 Pandemic, the Great Depression, WWII and the Cold War. They endured decades of uncertainty without the modern conveniences we have today. If they could do that, then we can get through whatever lies ahead for us.

Another way to relax is to turn off the news. Since when do you need to know about a German river bursting its banks? Or an Australian farmer’s cattle challenges? Tragic? Perhaps. Required knowledge? Doubtful.

Learning to chill is an art. Get artistic.

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CategoriesObserveThink About It

Trump Versus Biden

Around the world, many people seem to be interested in the outcome of the upcoming presidential election in the USA. Trump versus Biden. Or as the ticket shows in the voting booths, Trump/Pence and Biden/Harris. So what is the difference and who is going to win?

If this was a boxing match, you might highlight their key attributes, such as:

They seem to both want a free, fair country with a strong economy. In addition, both candidates seem to have good support from many in their respective political parties.

As for time in political office, Trump has had almost 4 years as President. Biden has spent 37 years in the Senate for Delaware and 8 years as Vice President. While Mr. Biden was in politics, the President was a billionaire property developer, investor and television personality.

Donald Trump is 74 years old and Joe Biden will be 78 in three weeks. President Trump graduated from Wharton with a BS in Economics while Joe Biden received a BA from the University of Delaware and a JD from Syracuse University.

If you search for positive hashtags for the candidates on Instagram you will find 28.4 million for #trump and 2.3 million for #biden.

So the crunch is here. Who will people vote for? As in, ”I want him to lead my country”, rather than, ”I don’t want the other guy to lead the country.”

The Trump versus Biden outcome is imminent.

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CategoriesActionObserveThink About It

Look In The Comments

Wow! There are a lot of different perspectives in the world. It can be frightening and fascinating. Look in the comments section on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, etc.

One of the things I am doing these days is reading a lot of comments. Many of them are similar in general thrust though sometimes with different reasons. I do love seeing things with a fresh perspective, whether I agree with it or not. It makes me think more and consider how different everyone’s life experience is.

I often find myself commenting these days too. Sometimes I just go for the like button. Other times I cheer or congratulate. Occasionally I ask for clarification or provide some for people who might not be using the same stats.

You get a very broad view of what people are thinking and what their concerns or prioritise are. I think it can be more informative than a media piece where they interview 3 people. In that 5 minutes I can see what 30 or more actual people think.

For me to like a comment it must be positive and all good points. My comments must be positive, encouraging or best facts I can find. My experience has been that many people, when presented with the best facts I have, are pretty receptive and appreciative.

If you want to learn about the world, look in the comments.

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CategoriesGratitudeHealth & FitnessObserveProgressReframe your thoughts

So Much In Common

Divisive is a common word these days. Though I find it a strange word to use. People have so much in common and things will continue to get better.

Most people have the following in common: They would like peace, prosperity, kindness, low or no crime and even good and effective political policies.

Would you like to live in a calm and safe neighbourhood? I think most people would aspire to that. Should children be able to go to school to learn? Hard to imagine too much resistance to that in normal times.

Listening to people on most issues and concerns, they seem to want a similar destination for each topic. There may be some differences as to how best to get there or exactly what the final destination looks like. But there seems to be so much less to argue about. And certainly most of those things are superficial in their nature. Or they require only a minor tweak.

No matter how much some people want to focus on the high drama of negative, angry or inflammatory news reports, I am confident we are in a much better position than any previously seen.

One example of this is that the global average life expectancy in 1900 was 31 and in 2017 it was 72.2. Additionally it is very peaceful and many people’s standards of living are much higher than in 1900.

We have so much in common. Let’s focus on what those things are.

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CategoriesObserveProgressThink About It

Progress, Change Or Improve

People want to change the world. That doesn’t necessarily mean they will improve it. Given the chance to make progress, change or improve yourself, or anything else, which word would you choose?

I used to be an adherent to change. Change was good. It was different to whatever is now. But that may mean worse as well as better, from your perspective or from that of others.

Then I became an ardent fan of progress. Progress was better than change. It sounded like it was at least going in the best direction.

However, I am not sure things that seem like progress always are. Like change, it can seem good to some but can be at the expense of many others.

Knowing what we know now, many things that seemed like progress at the time, may not have turned out like that in the longer run.

Was the machine gun progress over a pistol? Was nuclear power progress? Industrialisation – was that progress? Ask people interested in the planet’s future.

We should aim to improve. Improving suggests making things better, for many. It encapsulates change and progress but also a broad reach that helps most people that are impacted by it. It’s not about a select few, or one political, religious or tribal view.

Progress, change or improve? Aim at improve.

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