Category: Observe

CategoriesActionGoals, Results & New ThinkingObserveThink About ItTime

Your Bucket List

Posted on March 24, 2020

For some, this is a great time to take stock and think through what they truly want to do in this life. For others, it may have become so crazy busy that they don’t have a moment to pause and think about anything other than the next government announcement and its implications.

Without all the usual kids activities and appointments to arrange and get to, some people may have a few extra minutes (hours) in their day. Or maybe you no longer need to “get ready and commute”, so you may have a little more time now.

For those of you with a little extra time, this is a great opportunity to consider what kind of life you want to look back on when you are 85 years old. What do you want to remember when you are going through your photo albums or chatting to friends or younger relatives. Life flies by quickly, so don’t delay.

Block out an hour in your calendar on a day this week. Be specific with exactly what hour and day it is. It is an appointment with yourself. Then, when that time comes, do nothing else other than reflect and write out a list of things you would love to do, be or have in your life, between now and 85 (125 if you’re already well up there).

Just write all the things that come to mind. Ideally you will do an electronic list which you can save and sort out later on. But it could also be written on a sheet of paper or in a journal. You can always take a photo of it and file it on a device for easy finding later on.

The list does not have to be realistic, believable, conventional, exciting or anything really. What it should be though is a specific list of things on your mind and in your imagination. It could be things like: Spending two weeks on a golden sand beach in the Caribbean, helping your grandson learn French, walking on Mars, writing a funny novel, buying some art from a local artist, becoming a pilot, writing a letter to a loved one, collecting rare stamps or watching The Bucket List (enjoyable movie to get your thoughts flowing – good for most kids too).

This list-writing can be a challenge. Some find this exercise easy and some difficult. Either way, I suggest you do it. Now is a good time. It will give you a focus on things you are looking forward to, once we get life back to something approaching normal. It also helps you clarify what is important. Have fun with it.

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CategoriesActionObserveProgressReframe your thoughts

People Need Encouragement

Posted on March 23, 2020

When you are having tough times, trying something new, stating an opinion or just trying to get through your day, it is always nice to have a few words of encouragement from others. People need encouragement.

It is so easy for people to criticise, condemn, chastise, laugh at and bully. It requires no interest, curiosity or understanding of the other person.

For the most part, people are trying to do their best with what they know. Give them that benefit of the doubt. Assume their intentions are good unless and until you have conclusive proof that they aren’t.

Reflect on whether you are offering enough encouragement to people. It takes so little encouragement to light a fire under someone, to build them up. Ask questions. Seek first to understand. Assume their intent is good, even if their route to get their desired outcome isn’t the one you would necessarily choose.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood

Stephen R. Covey

Remember, how many Presidents, Prime Ministers, Chief Medical Officers, Doctors etc said nothing in the 1800’s and early 1900’s about smoking. Finally someone took the initiative to speak up about the health issues of a very popular pastime. Going against the accepted wisdom is more easily done with some encouragement.

For those of you with kids or young relatives at primary school age, think about how you might talk down about people you disagree with, whether it is journalists, politicians or business people. Then think how you would feel if your children or young relatives treated other children like that. If it’s bullying when young people do it, it must be called bullying when adults do it. Is there ever really a good justification for it?

Imagine what we could do on this planet if everyone stopped criticising and bullying others, and were more curious and gave words of encouragement. Try catching yourself for the next 24 hours. If you’re honest, it is quite revealing.

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CategoriesObserveProgressReframe your thoughts

The Challenges Ahead

Posted on March 22, 2020

We have all faced significant headwinds in our lives and leaning into the challenges ahead will be similar. There will be days where you will be feeling overwhelmed and maybe beaten, but you will press on and get through this.

I am always amazed at people’s tenacity and inner strength when they decide to get through something. The absolute power that we possess inside is quite incredible. By taking each day and each hour as it comes we can get through just about anything.

There are 1,440 minutes in a day and there are 84 days in 12 weeks. So we have 120,960 minutes to enjoy or persevere through at this unique time in the UK. When it is all going well, it will go by quick. Though there will be times when you will feel like the clock has stopped. Either way, stay focused on the bright side of everything.

Enjoy every minute of this unique period in time. Amazing things will happen in your relationships and your life in general, if you stay focused and approach everything, and everyone, with the best intent.

If the challenges get too much, put yourself in a 5 minute time out. Do some slow, deep breathing and relax your mind and thoughts. Remember that in the moment, everything is super important and feels like it really matters. However, the events of that moment are unlikely to be remembered 200 years from now.

If I get too caught up in the moment, I mentally picture myself shooting up into space, all while looking down as the ground disappears below me. As I am rising up, the streets get smaller and I see other cities. As I go higher, the details blur into cities, farmland, forest and large bodies of water. Soon I’m floating in space and looking down at this little blue ball, balanced perfectly in an orbit in space, which has seen wars, peace, contagion and warmth.

In that moment, I remember how significantly insignificant what is happening probably is in the very grand scheme of things. So I breathe and smile as I return back down to earth. Refreshed with perspective, I am once again prepared for the challenges ahead. Try this a few times and let me know if it works for you.

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CategoriesActionGratitudeObserveReframe your thoughts

The Bright Side

Posted on March 20, 2020

There is always a bright side.

Sometimes we don’t see it and sometimes we don’t want to see it. If we are still reeling from an event or situation, we may not feel like looking on the bright side.

Whether you see it, don’t want to see it or don’t feel like embracing it, it is still there. Once you step over the little chasm in your mind, and sometimes begrudgingly admit it, it does feel pretty good. So why not get to that spot and start smiling as soon as you can.

From today, soon or recently for others, many of us will be experiencing the new normal. We may enjoy the idea of bits of it and loathe the thought of other bits. Either way, this is our global new normal. So we may as well look on the bright side.

Here are a few things I’ve observed:

It feels so calm. The streets are quiet with very few cars or pedestrians. We just need to be at home – nowhere else. No detailed and challenging calendars to check or update. Time with my son – we went for a run today along the quiet river path and enjoyed a great chat and sprint to the finish: he’s fast. We celebrated a big birthday of a friend on a Zoom conference call involving 3 countries. We cheered on two others having birthdays on Saturday and Sunday too.

People have been friendly, helpful, supportive, calm, pretty optimistic and resolute. Air and general pollution seems to be dropping rapidly and should continue to do so during the new normal period. This is fantastic in general but even more so for all the people that wanted more immediate and severe action on climate change – now it is happening. Schooling is going 100% online – how fascinating it will be to see how it works.

The world has changed. It seems like it happened overnight. There will be challenges ahead.

Remember to look on the bright side of everything. Make it part of your new normal.

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CategoriesObserveReframe your thoughtsThink About It

Context Is Critical. As Are Facts.

Posted on March 18, 2020

We are facing unprecedented times. But they are not nearly as scary as media (both classical and social), and your mind, are making this out to be.

In the UK, there were 616,014 deaths in 2018. That is nearly 1,700 deaths PER DAY. Coronavirus deaths in the UK since it started, about 30 days ago, now total 104. (in context, over the same 30 days, approximately 51,000 people have died in the UK).

Now lets play out some simple, specific numbers. We will assume the absolute largest number of infections possible in the UK, which would be 100% of the total population or 67,785,240. Then, let’s take the current mortality and expected survival rate, globally, based on confirmed cases of 218,723 and confirmed deaths of 8,943 so far. Using these figures we get a 4.1% mortality rate and 95.9% projected survival rate.

If we remove Italy from these numbers, but leave in the other 172 countries and territories, with at least one confirmed case, the rates change to 3.3% mortality rate and 96.7% survival rate. Finally, if we use Germany, as a best case, which has the 5th highest number of confirmed cases at 12,327 and deaths at 28, it would give them a mortality rate of 0.2% and therefore a survival rate of 99.8%. This is only 0.1% higher than the seasonal flu. Context is critical.

So perhaps at best, we could direct the 70+ population, along with those with underlying conditions of all ages, to self-isolate, and request that the rest of the country get this virus. This could lead to between 153,969 and 2,236,912 deaths. However, experts believe only 50%-80% of people will actually get infected, which could bring these numbers down by almost half. In addition, by removing the vulnerable population from the equation, we are more likely to trend closer to the 153,969 or a UK survival figure of 67,631,271.

Context is critical. The world governments have pumped trillions of dollars into the economy, in the last week, to no positive effect. Few people are consuming, other than the basics, due to fear or government imposed restrictions on movement. And we have only just begun, as we have just passed 200,000 confirmed cases with millions more expected. With markets collapsing, millions predicted to be unemployed and/or the governments straining to pay for everything and everyone to keep going, might there now be a better way?

Perhaps the healthy 6-60 year olds could offer to get this mild (for healthy people) flu-like virus, while the higher risk groups self-isolate (as mentioned above). Experts seem to think 50%-80% of the population will be infected at some point. If this is inevitable, why not sign up now to get it and save the economy and livelihoods and still save a lot of people. If you want to read a very brief draft outline of one way we could do this, click here.

Yes, there may not be enough hospital beds. But people tend to die in the field of battle during a war. And this is looking a lot like a war.

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CategoriesObserveProgressThink About It

Stop Generalising And Get Specific

Posted on March 17, 2020

You may be frequently frustrated if you often use generalisations and the sample size of one. Using words like “they”, “the government”, “everybody” and “no one” can feel good at the time, and can help you speak more quickly, but to your detriment.

In the long run, it is to your advantage to be more precise in the words you speak.

Being more precise in your word selection and word order will make you sound like a more polished individual. You will be clearer and others will understand you better.

A particular time in life, when being specific is more beneficial, is when you are setting your goals. ‘They said I could join them to climb a mountain‘ is good but not nearly as useful as “My climbing instructor, Dave, said I could join their expedition to climb to the base camp of Everest on the 15th April 2020”.

Just for this morning, try to catch yourself each time you make sweeping generalisations. Then for each one, try to replace it with a more specific word or phrase.

(Expert level: Note also the generalisations that come out of the mouth of others and see what impact that has on you and their comments). Enjoy!

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CategoriesGratitudeObserveReframe your thoughts

“Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone)”

Posted on March 14, 2020

The world has changed. Completely. 2020 will be known as a pivotal year in human history. And it has only just begun! With more and more countries reducing people’s daily activities, and several countries going into full lockdown, the landscape is changing rapidly.

As with anything that changes, especially if it seems like it is getting worse, we feel nostalgic and sometimes sad for our loss of what was. How good we had it back then; back in 2019.

That’s when this song starts playing in my head. A power ballad by American glam metal band, Cinderella. “Don’t know what you got (Till it’s gone)”. It was released on the 21st May 1988: like an early birthday gift to me.

Although a love song, its melancholy piano, soaring guitar and anguished vocals have frequently reminded me over the years to appreciate all the amazing things we have. Every day.

It’s so easy to appreciate what has gone – though it’s then too late. Yet, it can be quite difficult to appreciate things in the moment. Mostly, this is because many of us are not practicing appreciation everyday. You’ll have more joy in your life if you strengthen this ability on a daily basis.

So today, more than ever, it’s important to appreciate how delicately balanced life and the world is. As people are going through hardships with the loss of loved ones or working through unforeseen financial challenges, be kind, be patient and be tolerant.

Take a few minutes right now to stop everything, close your eyes and appreciate the life you have right now. When you are done reflecting, you can even make a list of 10 things you appreciate in your life right now. Then keep this with you to review daily as the challenges of the days ahead unfold.

Being able to breath without a respirator might be one. The simple act of walking might be another. The ability to buy milk (the money you have, the shop nearby, the milk being in the shop, someone having milked a cow at 5am – remember, I grew up on a dairy farm).

Breathe it in and enjoy it now.

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CategoriesActionFinancialObserveReframe your thoughtsThink About It

Coronavirus End Game

Posted on March 11, 2020

7.8 billion people infected. 264 million COVID-19 related deaths globally. Of which, 80% were over 60 years old with more than 75% of those having an underlying health issue.

These numbers represent the end game – the potential worst case scenario, at current trends, given the World Health Organisation mortality rate, if every person on the planet where to be infected.

Should the media and its readers really be counting up by ones and tens for each new country, each new city with a confirmed case and each new death? The sooner we can accept that this has the potential to create extremely difficult times, the sooner we can move on and keep what is good, still going.

By that I mean that if we do have the tragic human toll either way (sooner or later), let’s not have a disastrous financial toll too. This is because the financial toll could lead to all sorts of other challenges and human suffering as companies go bust, people lose their jobs and incomes, and then payments for cars, houses, rent, food, medicines etc aren’t made. Then we would have a very harsh economic challenge as well as rising mortality numbers.

In my thoughts, there are three ‘Best case’ outcomes:

  1. Find a cure in March or April 2020: Then all is good. (If not, economic challenges will become severe and worsening)
  2. We quarantine it out of existence such that not one single person has it and then we go back to normal (This could be several months, or more, as we don’t know exactly who has it and there is a carrier lag due to a 14 day incubation period)
  3. We accept it is happening and carry on as normal while changing some habits (no handshakes, wash hands frequently, minimise contact with others while we carry on as normal). We would continue to fly, meet, attend sporting events and conferences etc., while being more cautious, especially around older people.

A fiscal stimulus will not solve this alone. If people are staying home from work and social events – out of concern or government mandates, and they are not producing or consuming as much as before – for the same reasons, then economies will quickly start to falter as airlines, hotels, university sandwich shops, retailers and banks fail, one at a time, in ever rapid succession.

Perhaps we should be carrying on while accepting that there will be significant deaths. If we don’t, and if we don’t find a cure or quarantine it out of existence, the descent into exceptionally hard economic times could be imminent. This could come with severe societal shocks due to high levels of insolvencies and unemployment, a credit freeze and growing crime and unrest.

In addition, there is no amount of stockpiling you can do that will get you through to the end of this, either: unless a cure is found in March, latest April. If supply chains slow down, the real impact will be many months away, not weeks.

This may become our generational thing to get through like all those who had to endure WWI, The Spanish Flu, The Great Depression, WWII and/or the Cold War. Except for the destruction of the wars, this might be all those wrapped up in one. Or not. No one knows how exactly this will all play out.

No one wants to be the person or family infected. But then no one wants to be hit by a car, be told they have cancer or have a heart attack. These are all random events that can impact us or our families and friends at any time. Yet we still go about our days: despite knowing any number of things could send us off to meet our maker. We simply take precautions. We look before crossing the street and eat healthy and exercise. Now we’ll wash our hands more too.

Yes, it’s a little more scary than the other main ways to pass, mainly because it’s new and there is uncertainty.

However, we need to keep calm and carry on. Otherwise, we could make matters far worse.

Accept the end game as a worst case, wash your hands well and frequently, tell important people what you should (sooner rather than later), eat well and exercise so your body is at its best – in case you need to do battle with this virus (or any other life, or lifestyle, threatening situation).

Hopefully the incredibly clever people around the world will discover a cure in the weeks to come. Hopefully it is quarantined out of existence. Hopefully everyone develops an immunity to it.

Regardless, the end game is that 7.55 billion people should survive this flu virus. Odds are you’ll be fine. Most families, however, will be impacted in some way. Be empathetic. Be kind. Be generous where you can.

Just keep calm and carry on.

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CategoriesActionObserveProgressReframe your thoughts

Your Mind Is More Powerful Than Google – Be Very Careful

Posted on March 6, 2020

Type a question into Google and it will search, very quickly, and find the answer for you.

Your brain works the same way for questions. Your brain will search for the answer.

So be careful what question you ask it, especially out of frustration. For example, sometimes we use self talk, like, “Why am I so stupid?”, after having done something that seems a little silly to have done (Like forget our keys in the house, leave our tickets on the counter, or miss an appointment.)

Your brain is now required to search for, and find, an answer, or five, that could be correct, just like Google does. (Hopefully you don’t get 17,563,897 responses in one millisecond for that question!). Like Google, your brain tends to find answers that have been given frequently, recently or that others think is correct.

It does not mean it is correct, and the source of the answer may be a bit suspect (your sister or brother, that old boss who was a tyrant, your difficult classmate when you were eight years old, or an ineffective teacher from your past).

So please be very careful what you say, or ask, out loud, or under your breath. Your brain is compelled to give you an answer to that question. Rather, ask those slightly rhetorical questions that you would love to hear the answer to. Perhaps, “What makes me such a great friend?”, “How kind am I?”, “How can I set up my environment to succeed next time”.

Your brain is super powerful. Use it for good and to support you. Try preparing and practicing a few helpful questions right now, and then again throughout the day. Selecting better words, in a better order, and forming better questions, will be life-changing. Go on, give it a try.

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