Reframe your thoughts Archives - Page 104 of 110

Living To 100 And Beyond

Posted on June 20, 2020

The imaginative people on this planet continue to make progress on so many fronts, especially in the medical field. Living to 100 and beyond is becoming more of a frequent occurrence these days.

And with rumours that 100 is the new 80, it is all very exciting. The perception of ageing is also changing. Many people are still very active in their 70’s and 80’s. Some are surprisingly able through their 90’s and into their 100’s. With all the new replacement parts and better prevention and cures, the idea of ageing is changing.

How many centenarians are there in the UK? Globally? More than many people would expect. (Take a guess before checking the answer at the bottom).

Reaching 100, or beyond, may become less of an issue of physical limitations and more of a mental health and mindset challenge.

For this reason I am angling to reach 160. Aim high! So even if I come up a little short, it will still be quite an impressive run. With that in mind, I am building good habits for the long haul. Both physical and mental habits. I‘ll let you know if I make it. ?

Living to be 100 and beyond is quite an achievement. In 2018 there were 13,170 centenarians in the UK and 499,198 globally. They’re great numbers to build on.

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Leave Everything A Little Better

Posted on June 19, 2020

Wherever you go you are likely to find little things that aren’t perfect. Leave everything a little better when you pass through.

Some simple things can make a nice difference. For example, I’ll pick up pieces of litter if there are one or two items on a trail, in a park or on the street. I prefer not to see it there in the first place. But now that I have, I’ll remove it. Then, the people coming after me can have the natural experience I would have wanted.

If you borrow something, like a friends car, fill the tank or get a car wash before returning it. It’s a nice thing to do for them. This is especially true if the tank is low or you can write or draw in the dirt.

If a tree branch has fallen on a path, move it completely out of the way. Most people who pass by after will appreciate it. Some people might have preferred the adventure in scrambling over, through or around it. Though, many hikers like to simply hike and not play tree-branch Twister.

Sometimes it is just a simple thing like adjusting a pillow, shifting something, or returning a tool a little cleaner or sharper. Every little act of improvement will have a knock on effect and bring greater joy. Whether that joy is experienced by people you know or not is fine.

How nice it would be if all people could pay it forward and leave everything a little better than we found it.

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The Stockdale Paradox

Posted on June 18, 2020

What does seven years in the Hanoi Hilton have in common with Covid lockdown? Perhaps it is The Stockdale Paradox. You must confront the brutal facts while emphatically maintaining that you will survive, and thrive, despite them.

I first became aware of The Stockdale Paradox almost two decades ago when I was reading Jim Collins’ fascinating book, “Good to Great”. The book is the result of a study of the differentiating factors between long term success and short term blips.

In the book, James Stockdale is brought up. Despite having survived seven years of seriously harsh POW treatment, he seemed to have survived the ordeal and feel stronger for it. Let’s all hope that whatever our personal circumstances are, or become, we can say the same after this Covid experience.

It is important to confront the brutal facts of our current reality. And equally critical, we must have unwavering belief that we will overcome whatever difficulties we encounter and emerge stronger on the other side.

Admiral Stockdale said it was the optimists that struggled and sometimes didn’t make it through. I can understand that. However, I will add that perhaps it was the impatient folks that struggled most. The one’s that wanted it over quickly, in addition to those that were hopeful about the outcome.

Think about your expectations and sprinkle some patience in there. The 1918 Pandemic lasted 2 years. It doesn’t mean this one will be difficult for some or all of that time though. So stay positive, and patient, and be ready to overcome whatever comes your way.

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Thinking Differently Changes Lives

Posted on June 17, 2020

It feels like there is a lot of upheaval and uncertainty in the world at the moment. Remember that thinking differently changes lives, whether it is with respect to Covid, your job or summer holidays.

Day to day life seems to be changing at a rapid pace. The future may, or may not, look different from what we experienced in 2019. But then again, things have been changing your whole life. So change is not really new. But what might be new is having greater uncertainty as to how this change will play out for you.

In our early years, many people have higher certainty due to social norms (school advancement, activities) and signposting by our parents or carers. From teenage years and onwards, we have a slightly lower certainty as we attempt to do things we want to do (apply to universities or jobs, move house, find new friends or a partner).

Often we decide on the change that we would like to happen in our life. But we did not choose this moment in time and the changes it has dealt us. And we do not know where this road leads. But the thinking that got us this far in life, may need some alterations for this next stage of life.

You are the hero of this story. No one else is coming to save you. You have the strength and mental acuity to shift now from uncomfortable to unstoppable. Be one of those joy filled people that believes thinking differently changes lives. Then make the mindset shift and begin the change.

Reframe your thoughts

Progress Not Problems

Posted on June 16, 2020

Sometimes it feels like it can’t get any worse. There are moments of two steps forward and two steps back. Focusing on progress not problems can remind us, that overall, things are getting better.

I find it really helpful to let my mind zoom out of the situation and away from the immediate problem. As I pull back and get some perspective, it is much easier to recognise the progress that I have made.

This is the same for global issues as much as personal ones. There are a lot issues people would like to see more progress on and quicker too. But when we look back over 200 years, we can see a lot of progress. And 200 years ago it was slower and harder. However, today, progress and improvements are happening at a much more rapid rate.

We still need to have some patience as we make the progress. If we want dramatic change this immediate moment, we are likely to simply get ourselves frustrated. We must work toward our goals, step by step. We must have a longer term plan and follow it. Then recognise that although we can’t see rapid change, it will come.

When you plant a seed, you won’t see anything happening as you look at the ground. But with care, patience and time, your efforts will be rewarded with some visible progress. And later still, you will be able to harvest.

This system may not be perfect but it does work. Focus on the progress not problems. You’ll feel better for it while you wait.

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Use All The Ink In Your Pen

Posted on June 15, 2020

If you care about the environment and the impact that you have on it, start doing something simple. Use all the ink in your pen.

Use up the resources that you buy. We donated a lot of pens and pencils a few years ago to the local school and charities. We have found / acquired a few more since then. Many are half used. I’m on a mission to use up the remaining ink in those pens and then recycle them as possible.

Some pens we would donate to the school but I am not sure whether they will take them at this time. I’ll have to check.

And although we don’t have a lot of excess things tucked away in drawers and cupboards, we are going through everything at the moment. I’ve become mildly obsessed with removing things that are no longer being used or not useful to us.

We encourage the children to pass things on that other children might enjoy. And those items we do keep, we tend to use them intensely until they are so used up they need to go into a recycling program or the rubbish.

I know many retailers need us in their shops (or browsing their online shops) right now. Definitely spend when you can on things that are required, especially in smaller shops. But also try to use up, donate or recycle all those things you already have.

Use all the ink in your pen. The planet will be better for it.

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Spend Today Only Saying Good Things

Posted on June 11, 2020

Are you a cynic? Are you adept at finding the problems with things? My challenge to you is to consciously spend today only saying good things.

You may not want to read your favourite paper today. It might make the challenge easier. Frequently news outlets and social media will highlight the negative, so you wouldn’t want to get primed by that in the morning.

Each time you go to speak today, check your intent and the sentiment you were about to express. When your spouse speaks, or your child, parent, friend or coworker, pause and be sure to frame your comment in the positive.

You could try using one of the following: ‘I appreciate that observation’ or ‘How kind of you to notice’ or ‘You’re looking very fine this morning’. In addition, you could make up some good comments yourself and use those.

If you spend today only saying good things, you will create a ripple effect in the universe. Some of those good words will help others feel positive and say good things to more people. This will spread out and more people will feel good and encouraged.

Wouldn’t that be nice.

What will you do with this knowledge and power you possess? Do you really want to make a difference in the world? It’s something so simple to start with and is within your control.

Go ahead, make their day!

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Get The Basics Done First

Posted on June 8, 2020

It is so easy to put things off till later. We try to instil in the kids to get the basics done first. Once these basics are done, then the free time can begin.

The basics might mean schoolwork, homework, tidying up, cleaning up, chores, calls to family, fixing stuff, reading and other things. I find kids are sometimes fine with jumping over the basics and getting straight to the fun stuff.

Kids can be happy with skipping the chores and then later they will think nothing of requesting ice cream or a movie. I have to say though, a lot of times adults are the same. I can relate to this as sometimes I see through the work to the rewards too quickly.

Of course this is all contextual as well. If this is the fifth day in a row of getting the work done, the urge for an ice cream or a movie break may be stronger. Some might say overwhelming.

If you get the basics done first though, it can feel good and even save you more time later.

Remove as much stuff from your life as you can. Each day, try to reduce what you have or have going on in your life. It makes it easier to focus on those key items that will make a difference in your life.

Then you will get those key items done faster and easier and you’ll get to the fun bits quicker. Book a 30 minute ‘quick clear’ today. Get moving!

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This Is Not A Good Time

Posted on June 5, 2020

“I don’t have time for this.” “This is terrible timing.” “Oh my, this is not a good time for this.” Some of the things we say are so true and yet so funny. Is there ever a brilliant time to have a bad thing happen?

A friend and I were chatting and when he said it, it struck us as funny. Just when is a good time for something unpleasant to happen? If you were going to have a minor disaster, what day and time would you pencil it in? Is this coming Tuesday at 2:55pm good for you?

We felt a little odd just thinking about planning in something negative. It felt wrong. Few people would want to lose their phone, get a flat tyre, or catch a contagious disease at the best of times. So why would less than good times be any different?

If you could plan in a little disaster or challenge to your life, then why not now? If you’re in decent health, with a sound mind and a few paper bills in your pocket, maybe this is a good time. Having something bad happen when you are not at, or near, your best, would be harder.

Sometimes we just need to count our blessings. Even when things stop going well, this could still be a better moment for it than any other.

You’ll never know how much you can handle, until you are required to handle it. You will be fascinated by the way it turns out. It’s often better than we expect.

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Build People Up Whenever You Can

Posted on June 3, 2020

Doesn’t it make sense to build people up whenever you can? There are so many instances where people go negative, generalise and put people down. It really seems unnecessary, unproductive and unkind.

We have a loose rule in our house that you can only build people up. Negative banter is discouraged and is called out with a reminder to build up.

This idea builds on a concept I grew up with. I recall hearing my Mom or Dad, or other parents, saying, ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all’. Similarly, we just say, ‘Build up’. It is a quicker version with similar intent.

People could use a little encouragement. It doesn’t take much to lift the spirits and chin of another person. As a result, the person will walk taller, and that is wonderful to see.

The knock on effect is wonderful too. They are more likely to be positive and enthusiastic, confident and proud. This in turn might find them doing something similar for someone else. What a fabulous ripple effect.

The kids catch me and I catch them. It’s usually just a gently nudge or reminder to build up.

There are still so many times that people let their impulsive, reactive frustrations or their nasty side win the battle for control of their mind. It doesn’t need to be that way. And, ‘I was joking’ isn’t acceptable as it didn’t land.

Practice building people up today. Pay a compliment to someone. Congratulate them on a small win. Hold yourself back from the easy put down. Encourage someone in the area they are trying to improve in.

You’ll both feel tremendously better for it. You’ll be smiling.

If you want to see incredible change in the world, start doing this often, from today.