CategoriesObserveReframe your thoughts

Social Signalling Has Challenges

Signalling, with intentional consequences or not, is a part of life. Even though social signalling has challenges, people are unlikely to stop doing it.

Wearing a poppy for Remembrance Day is a positive example of this concept. So is laying a wreath. Although there may be a minority of people that are not in favour of either, there doesn’t seem to be a large or growing campaign against these actions.

Our everyday decisions and lifestyle can also have an impact on others. Whether you do something just for yourself, or to be noticed by others, you are sending signals out to the community. This can be as simple as the clothes you wear, car you drive, phone you use and how you earn an income.

People notice, consciously or subconsciously, many things about you, whether you want them to or not. As people, we tend to simplify and generalise to make quick sense of the daily sensory impact. We can then make assumptions about others, based on our lens, our philosophy and how we interpret the visual or other data.

It is usually fine to allow people to express themselves. However, expecting, or forcing, others to conform to your view can be a less effective tactic. It can even have the opposite effect.

Social signalling has challenges.

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CategoriesActionReframe your thoughts

Changing Your Name

One way to change your life is to change who you are. Who you are is tied up in all sorts of things. One way to start this process is by changing your name.

Most of us will change our name once in our life. We will shift from being Scott Gregory to Master or Mr Scott Gregory. Many women will change their names by adding a Miss, Mrs or Ms. I realise these are titles and not an actual adjustment in the spelling of a name. However, a title does change the perception of the person. This change can be noted by the person and the people with whom they interact.

Some people use a motivational persona, like Beyoncé does with Sasha Fierce. Others add their initials when writing their name like John F. Kennedy. You can also shorten or change some names like Robert to Robbie or Rob or even to Bob.

Some people go even further and change a part of their name or the whole thing. David Bowie was David Robert Jones and Elton John was originally Reginald Kenneth Dwight.

There are lots of ways to alter our identity. Our name, title, prefix, suffix and other name adjustments are just one way to make a change in our life.

Changing your name can be the beginning to a different life.

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CategoriesGratitudeReframe your thoughts

Deciding What Is Important

What is the deciding factor for relative importance in your life? For most people it is their values. Deciding what is important is an ever-shifting game you play in your head.

Do you remember what was important when you were three days old? Perhaps it was food, warmth and comfort. But when you were eight, 16 and 21, what you prioritised may have been different. I am almost certain that it would have been.

What is valued by a 30 year old is unlikely to be the same as that valued by an 80 year old. Time, location, wealth, health, education and family will all have an impact on what you think is valuable. In addition, what you value can shift as your life shifts or with new information. It is inevitable.

A good way to discover what is truly important to you, is to check how you spend your time. If you spend your time at the pub with friends, family may not be as high on your list as you thought. However, working everyday to bring in the income, so your family can be fed and safe, may take precedence over spending time with them.

Deciding what is important can be tricky and have many layers.

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CategoriesActionReframe your thoughts

Shine Your Light

You can make people happy. You have the power to help others feel lighter and more joy-filled. When you shine your light, so many other people benefit.

People have happiness triggers. There are certain things that will bring a smile to their face or laughter to their heart. You need to observe them or communicate with them to understand what the triggers are. Once you have the information, it makes it a lot easier to elicit a smile.

It can be quite an incredible feeling when you help someone find their smile. To see the joy in their eyes and the curling up of their lips can make you smile too.

Some people are brilliant at this. They have developed a knack for it. Comedians and talk show hosts seem to be able to get the smiles going. Sometimes it can be doctors, clowns and young children that help lighten the mood.

Presumably this is simply another skill that can be learned and improved upon. Most people should be able to get a few of their friends to crack up now and then. To improve in this capacity, buy a book of clean jokes and learn a few. You can also watch people perform their comedy routines on YouTube. Keeping a positive mental attitude can help too.

Shine your light and let the whole world shine with you.

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CategoriesActionGratitudeHealth & FitnessReframe your thoughtsTime

Have A Fabulous Day

I love great days. It’s brilliant when everything is firing on all cylinders and everything is feeling right. Have a fabulous day like I did and it will make you feel 10 years younger.

Clear the decks from all responsibilities and go enjoy. Be present and let the day unfold. Attack it with a lively and positive attitude. Let little things slide. Give every moment a smile. Do it even if you would rather flip it the bird. Life zips by as we zoom around the sun.

Take advantage of every moment you have. You will reach a moment in life when it will get quite difficult to do things. Even thinking or remembering could get difficult. So pick a day here and there and dedicate your life to it.

It does not have to be expensive or difficult. We went for a family walk / hike at Box Hill. It was a brilliant day out. We brought water and snacks. So a bit of petrol and a small car park fee were the only costs. Pretty awesome for five people to have a fabulous day.

Use a simple outing to create a great and lasting memory. Maybe book one of these days in every month. I’m looking into it now.

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CategoriesReframe your thoughts

You Are Self-Taught

What does learning mean? How about Education? If someone provides or presents information to you, are they a teacher? Perhaps you are self-taught. Maybe we are all self-taught.

These thoughts percolated as I watched an Instagram Reel of Elon Musk being interviewed. The interviewer asked how Musk became the Chief Technology Officer of a rocket ship company. His reply was simple enough. He stated that he had a degree in physics, he read a lot and he spoke to a lot of smart people. Presumably those books and people were filled with knowledge or experience about the industry in question.

Somewhat surprised, the interviewer queried, “You’re self-taught?” This struck me as funny and I gave it some thought. Isn’t that like going to school or university? You need to read books and also listen to people such as teachers, professors, and tutors who hopefully have more relevant information, knowledge or experience than you have.

You then decide which information is most useful and retain it. In addition, you select the information to tune in or tune out and recall or not, regardless of the presenting media (books, videos, people). Although, professors may convey the information, or even explain it, you choose to sit and listen, or not, and absorb it, or not.

You are self-taught.

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CategoriesActionHealth & FitnessReframe your thoughts

Get Your Frustrations Out

Frustrations, disappointments and missed expectations can lead to a negative energy inside. You need to get your frustrations out somehow.

Different people do it in different ways at different times in their lives. Some people like to box, some prefer gardening but even a simple walk can help. Others fancy meditation while I enjoy a good, long run.

Something physical is best. It helps to get that negative energy out. It can also tire you out, which can be quite useful too. Getting a good night’s sleep can be difficult with negative energy and things on your mind. So expelling that energy and getting tired can greatly help you to get the sleep you should have.

In addition, you will often wake up with a better perspective in the morning. A fresh, new day often brings with it a greater sense of the possible.

If you don’t do something physical, it is possible you will build up the negative energy in your body. This can manifest into aches, pains, discomfort and other ailments including headaches.

Meditation or similar mind exercises can also be quite helpful. Together with exercise, good sleep, plenty of water and a positive attitude, and life should be very good.

Get your frustrations out in a positive, harmless way. It’s healthy!

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CategoriesActionProgressReframe your thoughts

Study Hack

There are shortcuts in life. Many shortcuts are legal and moral. However, you do need to be aware of them. Today I’ll explore a life study hack.

If you are trying to gain knowledge on a topic, you need to study it. I’ve found it does not matter whether you are studying business, entertainment, travel, a language, a sport or any other topic. The actual act of studying it is critical.

In addition, if you really want to excel in this subject, you are best to immerse yourself in it. Study the latest books on it as well as the classics. Watch movies and videos on the subject, listen to podcasts and get involved doing it yourself.

However, one of the best shortcuts to knowledge is having an interactive conversation with someone who already knows the subject inside out.

A single conversation across the table with a wise man is worth a month’s study of books.

Chinese Proverb

The amazing thing about speaking to someone knowledgeable is their immediacy of feedback. They can understand your relative position and the question you have. Then they can provide specific advice for you in your situation.

This method can save you hours, weeks or even months of independent, linear study. Having someone jump in with relevant insight and guidance can be priceless.

That’s a study hack to try out.

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CategoriesActionHealth & FitnessReframe your thoughtsWeightWeight loss

Losing Weight

As we exit lockdown, I hear people talking about the weight they gained, which they now would like to lose. However, losing weight needs a rebrand.

It is a common phrase and quick to the tongue. The trouble I find is the use of the word reflecting loss. Losing and loss are usually associated with sad or frustrating things.

There are only a few times where losing someone or something is a good thing. The two that come to mind are when someone is chasing you and when trying to have greater fitness.

Most of the time, loss is not good. We are rarely happy saying things like I lost the race, the match or the series. Nor do we enjoy losing our keys, health, friends, jobs or minds (though we may not notice the last one so much).

Our minds also work overtime to resolve the loss. So even if you lose weight, your mind sets off to find it again. This is rarely ideal if you’ve been making the effort to be slimmer or more fit.

So while we wait for the world to stop combining those two words, try using others. Perhaps, “I am getting to my best weight” or ”my ideal size“. “I am getting fitter every day.”

Stop losing weight and start finding your ideal you.

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CategoriesActionGratitudeReframe your thoughtsTime

Undoing History

The desire to undo things done must be as old as civilisation itself. People say and do things they wish they could take back. Undoing history would be lovely in some respects. However, there is no giant red rewind button to facilitate this.

Wouldn’t it be nice if such and such had happened or hadn’t happened. The musings of those not wanting to accept the brutal facts of reality. Things are as they are today. They are like this precisely because billions of people did trillions of things and they can’t all be undone.

By constantly living in the hope of the past being different, we can drive ourself to madness.

It may give us some comfort to hope that we will be young again. Or even that wars will not have been fought and past transgressions never occurred. Spending time on trying to right the past uses up energy we could use to improve the present and the future.

Sure it would be better if certain things were a certain way today. Anyone whose family has had a difficult past would probably agree. However, it has happened a certain way and we must make the best of it now.

Rewriting history might make you feel better about the story but the results are in.

Undoing history is still not possible. Best to focus on what is.

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