Reframe your thoughts Archives - Page 87 of 107

Replace Smart With Capable

Posted on March 27, 2021

Having a fixed or growth mindset can dramatically impact the success you find in life. Because of this, replace smart with capable when speaking with children, or anyone else for that matter.

When children, and people in general, hear praise that they are smart, it can lead them to believe they have the answers already. And that if they don’t have the answers, that perhaps they are stupid. This can lead to the desire to only do things where they know the answer for sure. This in turn can lead to reducing their circle of knowledge and reducing their participation in class or conversation.

This is indicative of a fixed mindset. This is the idea that what we know, we know. People can believe that if they don’t know, then they are not intelligent rather than they need to go find the answer. Someone with a growth mindset will note their lack of knowledge and learn to grow their knowledge base.

This is all reviewed in Carol S. Dweck’s book Mindset and in her research.

This idea is why I choose to use the word capable with my kids. They do not know everything. Nor can they do everything. However, they are capable of learning, training, practicing and improving. This is how I suggest they tackle all things in life.

Replace smart with capable for better long term results.

Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

People Are The Key

Posted on March 26, 2021

Have you ever walked into an empty building? Perhaps your office building on the weekend or school during summer holidays. People are the key. Otherwise those quiet, soulless locations just echo with memories past.

People create the buzz, the energy and the excitement. It is their being that breathes life into a situation or place. Although locations can conjure up strong memories, the strongest ones often involve people.

I recall walking into my secondary school, during the summer after graduation. My footsteps echoed in the halls. After 5 years there, it seemed like I would bump into someone. But there was nothing. Just the ghostly quiet and silent cacophony of days gone by.

There was a deep sense of melancholy and a yearning for those days again. The friendships and silliness. The final and laughter. The challenges, struggles, wins and memories. Those halls are filled with people who will live in your mind forever. They are frozen in time. Slow motion. Black and white. Fast forward, Colour. Echo.

Best friends or sworn enemies, there was a place for everyone. And without anyone, there was just a building. Empty rooms and hallways. The place had seen tens of thousands of student faces over the years. But ours were the only ones that lived in our minds. friendships for a lifetime.

People are the key.

Action Financial Reframe your thoughts

Credit Cards Are Brilliant

Posted on March 25, 2021

I have always loved credit cards. They are so useful. They can be brilliant if you use them with the right intent. Credit cards are brilliant when you are sensible. However, like fire, if not used properly, you can get badly burned.

There are two features of credit cards that I think are great. The first is called a Balance Transfer. This is the option to shift one credit card balance on one card over to another card. On the surface, it may sound like a bad idea that has no benefit. However, if you get curious and look a little deeper, you’ll see some great benefits.

Let’s say you have a $5,000 balance left on one of your cards. And it’s attracting a 20% rate of interest. That would equate to $1,000 annually of interest. Now you could transfer that balance to a new or current card you hold. Find a good deal and you could pay 0% interest for up to 24 months right now.

In addition, you will usually have to pay a fee as well, but if you’re getting a new card, sometimes this is waived. Let’s say you pay an upfront fee of 4%. That would be $200. But no other cost for two years. That’s like a 2% per annum rate. Now you have some breathing room to pay the balance off over two years and it will only cost one tenth of your current card.

The other option is a Money Transfer. Similar idea, but the card company simply places the funds in your bank account. You don’t need to be paying off another account balance. Similar terms can apply.

Like I said, credit cards are brilliant. (Use sensibly and pay down the balance so you clear it when the 0% period ends.)

Gratitude Reframe your thoughts

Practice Receiving

Posted on March 24, 2021

This is very tough for many people. You may be one of them. Although, some folks make it look effortless and genuine. Practice receiving gifts, compliments and good wishes.

People often look quite uncomfortable when receiving an unsolicited gift. There can be a feeling of unpreparedness or a desire to ignore it or to give back.

A compliment is similar. Some people will downplay a compliment. Others will quickly change the subject, redirect or ignore the whole thing. This discomfort with receiving is something we should all be addressing. Practicing gratitude is good for the soul.

It is so easy to say, ‘you’re welcome’, and yet so easy not to. In addition, saying, ’thank you’, as a simple response to a compliment just needs to be practiced. The more you practice at home, at Christmas and at birthdays, the better you will become at receiving.

There is no need to give the other person a gift, compliment or good wishes. Simply accept their offering, show appreciation and move on. Have intent to do this the next time you receive something.

If you practice doing this at home, possibly in front of a mirror, you will get good at it quickly. It will feel genuine and be so. Like almost all things that look gracious and effortless, they have been practiced 1,000 times before.

Practice receiving.

Action Observe Reframe your thoughts

Make Up A Story

Posted on March 22, 2021

You do this anyway. Most people do. Something happens and then we decide why it happened. We make up a story that suits our belief system.

This always happens to me. Rich people are greedy. They are a real jerk.

Those are just some of the many common phrases people use to help fill in the blanks of the story. Some of the words, phrases and sentences we use are learned from others. However, sometimes they come from our inner critic.

Notice when you do this. Not only when you add more to your own stories about you or others, but also when other people do it. Get curious about word selection and order.

Become aware of how people around you speak. If you are not feeling empowered by their words, you might want to reduce your exposure to them. Distance yourself, or become just like them.

As for your inner commentator, give them a name and then tell them to go have a nap. You don’t need some random voice in your head berating you or creating drama by adding inaccurate comments to stories.

Create powerful stories in the place of the less helpful ones. Use ‘I am’ statements and let your spirit soar. Be delighted by the stories you hear and tell. If they are going to be fabricated anyway, make them empowering.

Go ahead, make up a story.

Financial Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts Time Video

Life Is Like A Movie

Posted on March 19, 2021

Have you noticed how things in certain movies become things in life? Remember the swish swish of doors in Star Trek? Life is like a movie, though only certain ones at certain times.

So when I was growing up, the swish swish of the doors on the Starship Enterprise seemed so futuristic. However, now most metro centres have thousands of these doors.

Then things started to unfold like the Schwarzenegger film Total Recall. The whole idea of virtual reality. We are getting there with Virtual Reality, Augmented Reality and Artificial Intelligence. We certainly have driverless cars on the near term radar. And trips to Mars being scheduled.

Then we have seen some elements of Tom Cruise’s Minority Report. People are being condemned for even thinking of an activity with a criminal element. It doesn’t matter if a crime has happened. The fact that it could have happened is enough for you to be removed from society.

Now things are moving on with skins in Fortnite and a virtual world in Clubhouse. This and the VR makes me think that the Ready Player One reality is not that far off from our current life.

Finally, we have Terminator. Well, that melting man business and pulling yourself back together is quite impressive. But happy for it to be a few more years before that.

Life is like a movie. Go get the popcorn ?.

Action Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

Perceived Value

Posted on March 17, 2021

Most people stay at a hotel so that they can get a night’s sleep in a bed. So other than the bed, does anything else matter? The perceived value is different for different people.

Some people would like more than the bed. They may wish to have a private shower, toilet and washbasin too. Lots of people require a specific level of cleanliness also. Others still, need a large room and blackout blinds.

But all of this may be irrelevant if the customer does not get a good night’s sleep. There are so many factors that affect perceived value. There are too many to list out in this short blog. However, it does seem to prove the point that beauty or value is in the eye of the beholder.

Think of all the factors that go into selecting your milk from a shop. It might be brand, taste, price, size or position on the shelf. That is from a product that is quite basic too. Imagine if there were lots of other factors like when considering a degree course.

A course is quite personal to you. You need to like the brand, the teacher or instructor, the topic, the location and the timings, to name a few key elements. Some people will pay $10,000 for a course with a specific outcome from a specific teacher.

Others will attribute little or no perceived value.

Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

Life Before Electricity

Posted on March 16, 2021

What was that like? Imagine how many things in your life would be quite different right now. It’s staggering. Imagine life before electricity.

So you would not be able to use your lights at your house. There would be no television, radio or mobile phones. Yes, it is starting to look a little bleak.

You wouldn’t have a battery in your car. And there would be no batteries in your game. Street lamps would not exist. Nor would integrated fire alarms. Driving on unfamiliar roads would require a physical paper map. No Tom Tom would be there to help you.

Electric cars would not be a thing. They wouldn’t run. Maybe a car made with a water based power source would exist. So many endless possibilities.

Could you live in a time without electricity? What would you miss the most? What would you miss the least?

Electricity is so fun to have around. It’s the life of a party. It would be shocking without it.

Spend one day without using electricity and see how you get on. You might realise how truly valuable this commodity is. Sometimes we only come to this conclusion after we’ve tried the hardship exercise.

It’s hard to imagine life before electricity.

Action Gratitude Health & Fitness Observe Progress Reframe your thoughts

Choose Discipline Or Disaster

Posted on March 14, 2021

Discipline sounds so strict. It has echoes of an unwavering sergeant major accepting nothing but your best. She asks you to choose discipline or disaster.

I have seen this in my personal life. If I am not disciplined about something, it can turn into a disaster. Now disaster is a relative term here as there are many stops on the road to disaster, but I think you understand what I mean.

Take the early morning alarm scenario. If you are disciplined, you can wake up on the first go. Then you can get ready as planned and and be where you should be on time. Alternatively, you can hit the snooze button a few times and then find yourself late for the rest of the day. This is sometimes the beginning of many disasters.

If your sports team is not good about their discipline, they may not build up sufficient strength and stamina before a match. This lack of discipline could result in a disaster. This could be a terrible score or perhaps some unnecessary injuries.

Of course, with a bit of discipline, you can find some amazing results. You don’t have to be perfect, but consistency helps.

Choose discipline or disaster. The former has more upsides.

Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts Time

Keeping Life Simple

Posted on March 11, 2021

Do you have the secret? Is there any way to do it? Everyday there is a new deluge of information and items to address. Keeping life simple is no easy feat.

Each day you will have to deal with more things. Today I received some Council Tax bills for some of our properties, a home insurance renewal notice and some yummy looking food pamphlets. (I imagined the food to be tasty, not the actual pamphlets themselves.)

So recycle one pamphlet but keep another. Where to put it though? We put it on the fridge as we intend to use it this week. The other envelopes I opened and made some notes on them. They then found themselves in our Tickler file. This is a filing system we learned from David Allen, who wrote the book Getting Things Done.

When used correctly, it is an awesome and powerful filing and tidying system. When it isn’t, it is the equivalent of the stationary bike as clothes horse.

We also received a delivery of a shower system. Life is a continual in-tray of things to sort, sift and solve. The quicker you can systematise or delegate, the happier you will be.

Look, those items come in the same time every year. Like Christmas, Easter and July 1st, they come around every year. Plan for them,

Keeping life simple will make you smile.