Reframe your thoughts Archives - Page 88 of 107

How Much Is Enough?

Posted on March 9, 2021

We all start out looking for more. More air, food, water, sleep, stuff, etc. But we don’t always say what enough is. How much is enough?

Take, sleep, for example. How much sleep does one need? Many experts say 6-9 hours of sleep per night on average. But you might be chasing some amazing opportunities. Then your sleep time might go down to 2 or 3 hours per day. After a week like that, you might need a few days with 10 hours of sleep to catch up back to a normal equilibrium.

Money is a topic we discussed in a Clubhouse room on Monday. Often people will set a specific goal to achieve. But once achieved, people don’t always stop. People can get caught up in the chase and forget what they are even chasing.

If your goal is to earn $3 million, could you make $5 million? And if you can make that much, why not use those learned skills to earn more. Soon you could be on the treadmill of more more more and not stop to smell those roses.

It is a good idea to note, at the start, how much of something will be enough. Then you will know when you can let up on the chase and maybe broaden your focus.

How much is enough?

Action Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

Defining Yourself

Posted on March 8, 2021

This can be a little tricky. Though it does not have to be. We all carry around a view of ourselves. It may be accurate or not. Defining yourself, however, is happening by you and everyone else.

You define yourself as you think you are or how you wish to be. To make significant and long term changes, one usually needs to redefine who they are. It is one thing to stop smoking. It is another thing to think of yourself as a non-smoker. Without redefining who you are, the likelihood of this change remaining diminishes greatly.

You can practice ‘I am’ statements which help you reconfirm your thoughts. Like learning our times tables, we are creating a more powerful neural pathway that serves us better.

You should certainly try to improve your self image and your self esteem. Consider the amazing, confident you and all of your incredible success to date. Be bold with your praise and be clear with your affirmations. You need to hear this more than anything else in the spoken language.

No matter what you do, defining yourself based on someone else’s standards, starting point or success is not clever or helpful. Just be the best version of yourself every single day.

Observe Reframe your thoughts Think About It

Generalisations Hurt

Posted on March 7, 2021

Generalising can be useful. However, it can also be quite unhelpful. When someone uses them too liberally, generalisations hurt.

Positive references are fine to be generalised, such as “These children all look thirsty”. However, try to steer clear of using any general comment if there is a negative connotation to it.

Some people like to use sweeping statements as a shortcut. For example, “Americans are X”, “Children aren’t capable of Y” and “This city is a disaster” are too broad in their scope. When you identify something you aren’t happy with, please try to single out the specific person or situation. Otherwise, this is where a lot of isms and ists are born.

A whole movement can be created when a couple of dozen or a few hundred people act in a certain way but it is extrapolated across 50 million. I do believe that most people have a hard time knowing what their Mom, spouse, kid or boss thinks. So how do people feel they can accurately group thousands or millions of people in any meaningful way?

I know it feels better to have a large group of people with you. And it is easier to comment on whole groups of people. But, expediency and magnitude will exacerbate the problem. Unfortunately, one needs to take time and get specific to identify the actual issue that needs attention.

Generalisations hurt. Generally speaking.

Action Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts Time

Saying Goodbye To Covid

Posted on March 5, 2021

So kids are heading back to school on Monday. Vaccine’s are rolling out. There is a plan to open back up. Saying goodbye to Covid is starting to feel more real today.

And there is a bit of melancholy that goes with that. Yes, that may seem a little odd for some. Though I imagine some others will recognise it too. As with all of life, it depends. It depends how it affected you and those around you. And it may not feel like it right now, but maybe when the hustle and bustle of the everyday is back, it will be more noticeable.

There has been time for other things. We have found new ways to do things. Alternate activities have emerged. Patience and greater understanding seem to have become greater priorities for many people. We’ve all changed a little.

I will miss having the kids at home for lunch. The calmer vibe of not having to race around will also be different. This does not necessarily mean better or worse. It is simply going to be different. Chats at home will be chats in the car on the way to sporting events. Scheduling will become a little more important.

Moments in time, good or bad, have a way of sticking with you. And I feel that end of an era (holiday, job, class, etc.) feeling.

Saying goodbye to Covid may be more difficult than it looks.

Action Observe Reframe your thoughts

Argue For Your Limitations

Posted on February 25, 2021

Have you ever told someone the reason why you can’t do something? What if they try to help you? Do you argue for your limitations?

We can be our own worst enemy. By saying that we can’t do something, we are making our own lives more difficult or miserable. Why do we do that?

If I say, “I can’t learn to use a computer,” I am telling you the problem I have. Then, if you say to me that you think I can learn to use a computer, you’d think I would hear you and agree. Maybe I could get curious and ask you why you think I can do it. I could look into courses, books or people who could help me learn.

However, many times we explain why we can’t use the computer. We might say that phrase about old dogs and tricks. Or maybe we note how we tried once and it did not work out well. Sometimes we might even resort to blaming someone else for not showing us in our youth.

Please, be a person who says they will give it a try. Be that person who will put some effort in and get started. Learn to grow and improve.

When we argue for our limitations, we usually get to keep them!

Action Gratitude Health & Fitness Reframe your thoughts Weight Weight loss

Keeping Fit Is Essential

Posted on February 20, 2021

There are a lot of reasons why you should want to be as fit as possible. From feeling better, moving well, and feeling confident, keeping fit is essential. At least it is for me.

Maybe growing up in a house with a type 1 diabetic, made me more aware of the role of food and exercise in our lives. Maybe my Dad’s high level of physical activity was a great role model for me. Eating healthy was important. Not paying attention to food and exercise and how it affects you was potentially lethal.

Food wasn’t simply an eat all you want, of any kind, until you’re bursting. And exercise was premeditated and planned. Training for the Montreal Marathon in the early 80’s could have been a disaster. However, thankfully it was not.

Keep fit by walking more, with a friend or with a podcast or audio book. Perhaps you could develop a love for running too. Clubhouse is also excellent to listen to, or even participate in, while being active. You could do 200 pushups a day as well.

But even more important than the exercise is your consumption. Learn to observe, investigate and monitor your food intake. Sleep is the other major challenge for many people. Getting enough sleep can be critical.

Keeping fit is essential. Don’t let your one and only body go to waste.

Action Observe Reframe your thoughts

The Masses Have Power

Posted on February 19, 2021

This is where we are headed. The internet, when allowed to be used openly, is a great place to build understanding. The masses have power that they are only beginning to realise.

The ability to organise, persuade, speak to and learn from large groups of people has become much easier. Combining the mobile phone, the internet and some curiosity, should create a fascinating mix.

The current mix is in Clubhouse, which I know I have mentioned here before. Anyone not taking complete opportunistic advantage of this simple yet powerful platform is missing out.

It’s new. It’s exciting. And, it’s free to use if you have an iPhone. The power it has given to the regular Joe is quite incredible. Few people have heard of the app and still fewer have jumped on it. He who hesitates is lost, or last in this case.

When you have the power to make groups, solve problems with the greatest minds, cross borders and build a better world, you should move quickly. Few times in life do all the stars align so that you can prosper. So when this happens, you need to strike.

The masses have power. What will they (you!) do with it.

Action Observe Progress Reframe your thoughts

Get Into The Groove

Posted on February 18, 2021

Oh I love that feeling when you’re in that state of flow. When everything is clicking and you’re set to go go go. Get into the groove has a real feeling of being at one with something. It is not just a mid-80’s pop song.

Right now things are going very well. Not much sleep, but a lot of fun and getting a lot of interesting new things done. It is so much easier to glide through a day on little sleep when you are really enjoying things.

It is also easier to push through any challenges. Sometimes they don’t even feel like real challenges.

Getting into this state is not always easy. However, like anything else, with a little practice you can start making it happen more frequently. One of the key insights is to not try too hard to make it happen. You need to let it happen, or flow, naturally.

For me, I know that if I try to slow it down or analyse what I am doing, I make it clunky. So if I am walking with a glass of water and then think I need to be more careful, it can backfire. I can get so caught up in trying to make sure all is fine, that I can then spill it. Strange but true.

Get into the groove. And try to spend more time there.

Action Gratitude Progress Reframe your thoughts Time

Keep The Faith

Posted on February 17, 2021

We will all find difficult moments in life. Sometimes the challenges seem too many and last too long. Keep the faith. Work towards a brighter future and as sure as winter turns to spring, things will improve.

Life can be tough. It sure can have its moments. Though sometimes these moments seem to drag on for a long while. On top of that, other elements combine to make it all seem even worse.

But when you are confident that better days are ahead, it fills you with the resilience you need to press on. Face the music and the brutal facts of reality and then imagine your way out and onto a better path.

You can lean on a family member or friend to help you through. And there are organisations out there that are set up for just this sort of thing. Make use of them. They were set up because the founder had probably been through life’s challenges too.

Focus on the positive. Reach out to family, friends or organisations. Know that time helps everything get better. Read books that are positive and useful. Set up your environment to win. Know that it will get better, especially if you work at improving your mind, body and soul.

Keep the faith. Sometimes it is all we have.

Action Observe Reframe your thoughts Time

Firm But Fair

Posted on February 15, 2021

This is one of my favourite sayings. It is a great way to ensure you do your best to treat people the same way as you treat others. Firm but fair means that there is a firmness with which you are ok with because it is based on being fair. I believe it is easier to stand your ground on issues when you know you are being fair.

Sometimes the item to be done is a non negotiable. It really must be sorted out. This is where you need to apply some firmness. This may mean that you appear tougher on your staff or your children.

When you are being fair, it helps to know what is being discussed. Some understanding of how things have progressed to this point can be useful before weighing in on the situation. If one parent has said ok to something, demanding it be otherwise sends a confusing message.

One example of putting this point into practice is when the children are playing video games. It is often easier to extend their time and pretend that it is all fine.

Though the best thing to do is to be firm on the agreed playing time and assist them in transitioning to another activity. If you had agreed up front how things were going to be, you need to be firm in the face of challenge and opposition.

Firm but fair. Stay resolute.