Scott's Thinking - Page 145 of 173

MTO Goal Setting Technique

Posted on October 18, 2020

Have you ever felt worse for setting a goal and not achieving it? A fantastic way to avoid that is by setting goals using the MTO goal setting technique.

I first read about this MTO technique in a book called, “Double Your Income Doing What You Love” by Canadian author Raymond Aaron.

This is a different way to set goals. It is very useful to both get people started with smaller wins and keep their big goals in front of them. The way to do this is in the name. MTO stands for Minimum, Target and Outrageous.

To use this technique, you start by noting down the goal theme. Then you note down what the Minimum goal is, what your actual Target is and finally what an Outrageous win for you would look like.

So your theme may be to tidy your bedroom. You may seek to clear your bedside table as an easy minimum achievement. Your target goal could be to do the minimum plus clear out all your old clothes. An outrageous goal might be to to do those and get the repairs done on the wall and windows, while also getting new curtains ordered.

So now if you only achieve the easy minimum, you will still feel good about meeting a goal. And you might even crack part of the Outrageous goal.

Time to make the MTO goal setting technique a new habit.

Action Time

The Best Time Is Now

Posted on October 17, 2020

If it is important, do it now. Make the phone call. Write the letter. Speak with your spouse. Attend your child’s play. The best time is now because we do not know if we will ever have another opportunity like this.

From my experience, you never really get a second chance at the same thing. If you are uncertain, you can pause, reflect or gather additional information. However, if you feel it in you that you should be doing something, do not wait.

S/He who hesitates is lost. The origin of this truism is often traced back to the Joseph Addison play Cato from 1712. I used to think it only meant that you lose if you hesitate. For example, when the goal is near and you have the ball ready but you don’t take the shot. In that case you might lose the match or simply lose that opportunity.

As I reflect on it more though, I see it could also refer to losing confidence due to doubt. If you were thinking of calling someone to go on a date and you hesitate, doubt will begin to creep in. You might lose confidence and push back the phone call even further. You may become lost in your thoughts, mind, doubts and uncertainty.

Life is short. Act fast.

The best time is now.

Action Observe

A Crowd Attracts A Crowd

Posted on October 16, 2020

Social proof is a very real and powerful thing. This is why one or two determined people can change the world. A crowd attracts a crowd and it all starts with someone.

Have you ever noticed how one person standing around looking at something can attract another? Then two or three more wander over to see what the fuss is about. Soon you have seven, 10 and then 25 people hovering about.

This is how buskers make a living. They know how to attract a few people, keep them engaged and then more people join. This is also how people build a social media presence. And how great sandwich shops build their reputation even more.

Having to make a reservation weeks in advance is another queuing system. Whether it is for a posh restaurant, hair salon, spa or to get tickets for an event, queuing up suggests demand. Demand indicates interest. The queue symbolises scarcity. Our nature is to crave those things that are scarce. If it was abundant, we would relax a little.

If you are selling something, it helps if there is scarcity, interest, demand and a queue. Make that happen and you will be on your way.

A crowd attracts a crowd. Try to make sure it is for good reasons.

Action Progress Time

Having A Difficult Conversation

Posted on October 15, 2020

These can be tricky. They can also be uncomfortable. Often, though, it needs to be done. Having a difficult conversation can open up the situation. It can also help both sides understand thoughts and positions that they had not been aware of.

Few people relish jumping into a difficult conversation. Though some are more practiced at it than others. By going for it head on, you often get a quicker result and get things moving. This speed can also eliminate a lot of the waiting and over-thinking on both sides.

The waiting is the hardest part.
Tom Petty

In addition, the more of these tough chats you have, the less onerous they can become. You also see how they can be beneficial. Finally, you will also be less hesitant and more proactive when the situation or need arises.

Lean in to these opportunities. Aim for better outcomes each time. Read up on a few different techniques to use and practice them. You will improve and it will get easier.

It is rarely as bad as you anticipate or fear. Often both parties are relieved to have had the discussion. Both will feel more confident in their future, regardless of where it takes them.

Having a difficult conversation is worthwhile. Push through the uncomfortable.

Financial Health & Fitness Reframe your thoughts Weight Weight loss

You Are What You Think

Posted on October 14, 2020

Do you even know what you think about yourself? It’s time to give this some thought. You are what you think, so you had better being thinking some good and useful things.

One reason people are not achieving what they want in life is their mismatched mindset. They know what they want, which is great. However, they can’t see themselves in that picture.

This can be the problem for people who want to lose weight and keep it off. Rather than think of themselves as a slim person, they see themselves as overweight or heavy, etc. So they tend to do what many heavier people do. They tend to move less and eat more.

Although if they saw themselves as a slim person, their mind would adopt the habits of a slim person. They would eat less and move more. In addition, if they saw themselves as a slim and athletic person, they may even develop greater muscle mass or at least stronger muscles.

The same can be said for people and money. If you want to be wealthier, but can’t see yourself as wealthy, you are likely to struggle to build a prosperous financial future. You must take on the role of being wealthy. This means acting appropriately with your money, not just spending it to look wealthier than you currently are.

You are what you think. Make sure your thoughts are working for you.

Observe Time

It Depends

Posted on October 13, 2020

You’re unlikely to ever know the optimal route ahead. Just as you are unlikely to ever discover how your ’what if’ moments would have turned out. It depends on millions of actions, reactions and further ripples in your life and others.

Your tastes, perspectives and priorities can change. Whether it is due to time, age, company, awareness or some other matter, how you perceive things can adjust. This can be only slightly or a complete 180 degrees. Some people even do a 360 degree change. Just ask anyone who has divorced someone only to remarry them again later.

Life is such an exact and detailed process. Changing one tiny little thing, on a long trajectory, can land you in such a different place. This idea has been explored in so many different ways. One that springs to mind, as I am in London, is the movie Sliding Doors.

Often people will reflect back on their What If moment and decide everything would be the same, except that one thing better. Rarely do people think they would have died, been poorer, or been in any other less well off situation.

This type of thinking can easily lead back to the expectation versus reality gap. By exaggerating the heightened expectation against an unchangeable reality, you are likely to feel a slight depression. So don’t do that. We won’t ever know, because it depends.

Assume life would have been worse in any other scenario. If you want change, start now, not in the past.

Action Gratitude Observe Time

How Did I End Up Here?

Posted on October 12, 2020

Have you ever connected your dots? It is useful to understand what decisions, thoughts and moments brought you to right now. How did I end up here?

Over the last couple of years, I have looked back and reflected on key decisions I have made and how they affected the direction of my life. It’s a fascinating exercise. Even more so, if you can be fearless in examining why you have chosen to do something.

This can help you understand why you choose some things over others. It also lets you know more about what you value and what you are attracted to.

One pivotal moment, I recall, was being 19 and walking to a university lecture in Ottawa, Canada. I saw a flyer on the stairs and picked it up. It was about travelling to various destinations around the world. A minute later I had reached my class and finished reading the parts that interested me the most.

I sat down and turned to my friend Kevin. I declared that I would finish the term and then take a year off to travel around Australia, New Zealand and the South Pacific. Excited, I studied, planned and worked to make and save money. Several months later I was on a jet headed to Auckland.

‘How did I end up here?’, I thought.

But actually, I knew.

Action Think About It

Don’t Poke The Bear

Posted on October 11, 2020

Have you ever pushed things a little too far? Someone isn’t having their best moment and you antagonise them just a little? Well, ‘Don’t poke the bear’, is what we say in our house.

Sometimes the extra poke is in jest. Occasionally it works too. But often you simply end up antagonising the person further.

How nice it would be if people learned to pull back, relax and chill. If they could give the other person some breathing room and a little head space. Most of us don’t enjoy having a bad moment. Certainly most don’t want it made worse.

We have the opportunity to make things better. We can create a positive butterfly effect rather than a negative one. With that power, why wouldn’t you? With great power comes great responsibility, as they say. Please use it wisely.

Remember this blog the next time things are going a bit wrong for someone. Try not to push them further to the brink. Give them some space. Or have the clear intent to honestly try to make their situation better.

Whatever you do, try not to make it worse for the person. Not even in a jokey or fun way. What might seem fun or funny to you, may not seem like it to them.

Be kind. Don’t poke the bear.

Gratitude Health & Fitness Reframe your thoughts

Forgiveness And Empathy

Posted on October 10, 2020

I saw an incredible short video clip the other day. It had a real impact on me. The forgiveness and empathy conveyed was certainly an unexpected twist. The 3.5 minute clip is from Larry King Live. I have posted it below.

Imagine someone trying to kill you. They come very close to reaching their goal. However, somehow you pull through. How would you feel about that? Consider how you might feel with the memories of your physical pain, mental anguish and uncertain future fresh in your mind.

What sort of emotions might you have toward this intentional murderer? Would you like to see justice served? Maybe even a little revenge?

It’s hard to imagine the extreme scenario. Most people can’t summon up that level of intensity, fear and pain to replicate the situation well enough. This is especially true when you are considering it while sitting safely and snug at home or while comfortably on your regular commute.

If you can’t get into the scene and character, consider, the experience of others. Reflect on those that have been cut up on the motorway, been in an accident or lost someone in a tragic way.

Forgiveness and empathy help you move on with your life.

Expose yourself to it. Try it. Evolve.

Like him or not, it’s quite impressive how he views the shooter

Gratitude Think About It

Wonderful People Are A Blessing

Posted on October 9, 2020

If you have someone wonderful in your life, cherish them. These types can be hard to find. Wonderful people are a blessing and you must remember that every day.

What would be even better than remembering this every day? Ideally you would remind them of how you feel about them every day too. That is somewhat of a two-for-one deal. When you remind them of it, you reinforce that point in your own mind.

Even though I am fortunate to have a number of wonderful people in my life, I am thinking of my wonderful wife today. We’ve had a fabulous time since meeting 26 years ago at university. And today is her birthday. ?

We have travelled extensively together, exploring six continents with open eyes and enthusiasm. She had an exciting career before focusing on raising three fabulous children. In recent years, Roxane has been the main driver behind building our property business which has given us much more free time and financial freedom.

Roxane is a wonderful wife, mother and friend. She is also a determined and excellent businessperson.

Regardless of what is going on and how busy life gets, she is always there to make things a little better. The children and I hope she has a wonderful birthday and she enjoys the very exciting year ahead!

Wonderful people are a blessing. Let people know how you feel.