Reframe your thoughts Archives - Page 90 of 111

Focus On The Thing

Posted on April 9, 2021

Gosh it can be hard to get clear and focused sometimes. There are so many interesting things in life. You need to focus on the thing that brings you closer to your goal though.

You need to be clear where you are heading. Then do only those things that get you there. Remove all the extraneous distractions. Once you do this, you will move forward so much quicker.

This week I am reminding myself of the things I need to reduce or stop. There are many things not on the path to my top goals. Some are fun or enjoyable though. Which make them more difficult for me to remove from my day.

However, in order to win and achieve the goal, I need re-focus and commit.

Is there anything you have been aiming for but not really putting the required time or focus into getting it done? Are there too many emails, requests, unnecessary things, keeping you away from the achievement you want most?

This was coming, but today’s Quote Of The Day Show podcast episode really underlined this idea for me today.

Sometimes the Knowing-Doing Gap comes in, sits down and wedges itself between you and your goals. Get back to doing what you know you are supposed to do.

Focus on the thing.

Action Observe Reframe your thoughts

Dig Your Heels In

Posted on April 6, 2021

That can feel sooo good in the middle of an argument. It may not be good but the adrenaline rush and everything works. Dig your heels in deeper as the discussion / argument continues to gather apace.

Generally speaking, we people like to be right about things. The funny thing is we are already right about our perspective. The challenge comes when other people have a different perspective. We can get quite animated explaining to people how our perspective is right and their perspective is wrong.

At this point, you could just walk away. You know you are right from your perspective. In addition, you have little interest in the other persons perspective. You just know they are wrong. And you are frustrated that someone’s lived experience could have got them so far off the correct track (i.e. your current perspective).

Again, best to walk away and reassess your own view of the world. No need to dig your heels in to press the matter. Few people seem to crack with greater pressure applied. You just don’t see it very often or ever.

Sometimes you feel you must win the battle and so forget about the larger purpose of life – Joy.

Don’t dig your heels in.

Action Progress Reframe your thoughts Time

Start Small But Dream Big

Posted on April 5, 2021

The trouble at the beginning is that there may not be much there. Sometimes there is a seed or an idea. Start small but dream big.

The critical part is to start. You can make whatever fanciful dream you want, but if you don’t begin, you won’t get there. And you can’t usually do step 2 until after you’ve done step 1.

Sometimes we can use a shortcut to get somewhere. However, even shortcuts have a beginning point. Don’t try to maximise, effiency-drive everything. Every podcast started with one listener as did every Clubhouse room. There is nothing wrong with that.

Now staying that size is a problem. You should grow a little. If not, check out why. Ask around. Get some answers. And then do something about it.

It is not everyone’s destiny to become some huge big deal. But it isn’t appropriate to stay so small as to be insignificant. You should be able to build an audience. If not, you have got to ask yourself why.

Just because you start at the bottom, doesn’t mean you have to stay there. Add more value, develop a skill, practice, learn, develop.

You have it in you to do something exciting! So get on that. Take an interest in your craft.

Start small but dream big.

Action Gratitude Health & Fitness Reframe your thoughts Time

Helping Others

Posted on April 4, 2021

Do they really need your help? Or do you really need them to need you? Are they capable of doing it themselves? Helping others can be a wonderful thing. It can also be done for a variety of reasons.

Altruism is rarely altruistic. Often the person performing the act of kindness or assistance will get a jolt of feel good for helping out. Some enjoy that feeling that comes from helping so much that they continue to help people even if they no longer need it.

One might even make up some symptoms or stories of helplessness to prove their assistance is required. This is where things need a reassessment. We should be aiming to help people to become self sufficient. Teach them to fish, not give them a fish.

No one should be trying to create a situation of learned helplessness. Nor should people be allowing or encouraging this to happen. People like to feel a sense of independence. I believe this is for both the young, the old and everyone in between.

When helping someone or a group of people, have an exit strategy. Know what the end of your useful time looks like and stick to it. Help the other person but ween them off of you.

That is one of the keys to helping others.

Action Reframe your thoughts

Replace Smart With Capable

Posted on March 27, 2021

Having a fixed or growth mindset can dramatically impact the success you find in life. Because of this, replace smart with capable when speaking with children, or anyone else for that matter.

When children, and people in general, hear praise that they are smart, it can lead them to believe they have the answers already. And that if they don’t have the answers, that perhaps they are stupid. This can lead to the desire to only do things where they know the answer for sure. This in turn can lead to reducing their circle of knowledge and reducing their participation in class or conversation.

This is indicative of a fixed mindset. This is the idea that what we know, we know. People can believe that if they don’t know, then they are not intelligent rather than they need to go find the answer. Someone with a growth mindset will note their lack of knowledge and learn to grow their knowledge base.

This is all reviewed in Carol S. Dweck’s book Mindset and in her research.

This idea is why I choose to use the word capable with my kids. They do not know everything. Nor can they do everything. However, they are capable of learning, training, practicing and improving. This is how I suggest they tackle all things in life.

Replace smart with capable for better long term results.

Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts

People Are The Key

Posted on March 26, 2021

Have you ever walked into an empty building? Perhaps your office building on the weekend or school during summer holidays. People are the key. Otherwise those quiet, soulless locations just echo with memories past.

People create the buzz, the energy and the excitement. It is their being that breathes life into a situation or place. Although locations can conjure up strong memories, the strongest ones often involve people.

I recall walking into my secondary school, during the summer after graduation. My footsteps echoed in the halls. After 5 years there, it seemed like I would bump into someone. But there was nothing. Just the ghostly quiet and silent cacophony of days gone by.

There was a deep sense of melancholy and a yearning for those days again. The friendships and silliness. The final and laughter. The challenges, struggles, wins and memories. Those halls are filled with people who will live in your mind forever. They are frozen in time. Slow motion. Black and white. Fast forward, Colour. Echo.

Best friends or sworn enemies, there was a place for everyone. And without anyone, there was just a building. Empty rooms and hallways. The place had seen tens of thousands of student faces over the years. But ours were the only ones that lived in our minds. friendships for a lifetime.

People are the key.

Action Financial Reframe your thoughts

Credit Cards Are Brilliant

Posted on March 25, 2021

I have always loved credit cards. They are so useful. They can be brilliant if you use them with the right intent. Credit cards are brilliant when you are sensible. However, like fire, if not used properly, you can get badly burned.

There are two features of credit cards that I think are great. The first is called a Balance Transfer. This is the option to shift one credit card balance on one card over to another card. On the surface, it may sound like a bad idea that has no benefit. However, if you get curious and look a little deeper, you’ll see some great benefits.

Let’s say you have a $5,000 balance left on one of your cards. And it’s attracting a 20% rate of interest. That would equate to $1,000 annually of interest. Now you could transfer that balance to a new or current card you hold. Find a good deal and you could pay 0% interest for up to 24 months right now.

In addition, you will usually have to pay a fee as well, but if you’re getting a new card, sometimes this is waived. Let’s say you pay an upfront fee of 4%. That would be $200. But no other cost for two years. That’s like a 2% per annum rate. Now you have some breathing room to pay the balance off over two years and it will only cost one tenth of your current card.

The other option is a Money Transfer. Similar idea, but the card company simply places the funds in your bank account. You don’t need to be paying off another account balance. Similar terms can apply.

Like I said, credit cards are brilliant. (Use sensibly and pay down the balance so you clear it when the 0% period ends.)

Gratitude Reframe your thoughts

Practice Receiving

Posted on March 24, 2021

This is very tough for many people. You may be one of them. Although, some folks make it look effortless and genuine. Practice receiving gifts, compliments and good wishes.

People often look quite uncomfortable when receiving an unsolicited gift. There can be a feeling of unpreparedness or a desire to ignore it or to give back.

A compliment is similar. Some people will downplay a compliment. Others will quickly change the subject, redirect or ignore the whole thing. This discomfort with receiving is something we should all be addressing. Practicing gratitude is good for the soul.

It is so easy to say, ‘you’re welcome’, and yet so easy not to. In addition, saying, ’thank you’, as a simple response to a compliment just needs to be practiced. The more you practice at home, at Christmas and at birthdays, the better you will become at receiving.

There is no need to give the other person a gift, compliment or good wishes. Simply accept their offering, show appreciation and move on. Have intent to do this the next time you receive something.

If you practice doing this at home, possibly in front of a mirror, you will get good at it quickly. It will feel genuine and be so. Like almost all things that look gracious and effortless, they have been practiced 1,000 times before.

Practice receiving.

Action Observe Reframe your thoughts

Make Up A Story

Posted on March 22, 2021

You do this anyway. Most people do. Something happens and then we decide why it happened. We make up a story that suits our belief system.

This always happens to me. Rich people are greedy. They are a real jerk.

Those are just some of the many common phrases people use to help fill in the blanks of the story. Some of the words, phrases and sentences we use are learned from others. However, sometimes they come from our inner critic.

Notice when you do this. Not only when you add more to your own stories about you or others, but also when other people do it. Get curious about word selection and order.

Become aware of how people around you speak. If you are not feeling empowered by their words, you might want to reduce your exposure to them. Distance yourself, or become just like them.

As for your inner commentator, give them a name and then tell them to go have a nap. You don’t need some random voice in your head berating you or creating drama by adding inaccurate comments to stories.

Create powerful stories in the place of the less helpful ones. Use ‘I am’ statements and let your spirit soar. Be delighted by the stories you hear and tell. If they are going to be fabricated anyway, make them empowering.

Go ahead, make up a story.

Financial Gratitude Observe Reframe your thoughts Time Video

Life Is Like A Movie

Posted on March 19, 2021

Have you noticed how things in certain movies become things in life? Remember the swish swish of doors in Star Trek? Life is like a movie, though only certain ones at certain times.

So when I was growing up, the swish swish of the doors on the Starship Enterprise seemed so futuristic. However, now most metro centres have thousands of these doors.

Then things started to unfold like the Schwarzenegger film Total Recall. The whole idea of virtual reality. We are getting there with Virtual Reality, Augmented Reality and Artificial Intelligence. We certainly have driverless cars on the near term radar. And trips to Mars being scheduled.

Then we have seen some elements of Tom Cruise’s Minority Report. People are being condemned for even thinking of an activity with a criminal element. It doesn’t matter if a crime has happened. The fact that it could have happened is enough for you to be removed from society.

Now things are moving on with skins in Fortnite and a virtual world in Clubhouse. This and the VR makes me think that the Ready Player One reality is not that far off from our current life.

Finally, we have Terminator. Well, that melting man business and pulling yourself back together is quite impressive. But happy for it to be a few more years before that.

Life is like a movie. Go get the popcorn ?.